Dr. Anil Koul

My family left Kashmir on January 19th, 1990. There was major strife at the time, and most of the Kashmiri Pandits left the valley during that period. There was a great deal of violence and civil unrest—terrorism and militancy in Srinagar. That is when we left.

Kashmiri was very present in our home. I spoke the language with my children and made it a point that my family would speak Kashmiri. Even though grandparents now often speak more Hindi to their grandchildren, I made sure my children speak the language.

When I think of Kashmiri language, I think of it as my soul, my mother tongue. Everything that happens in my life—good or bad—comes to me subconsciously in this language. My life and soul are connected to it. It is what makes me who I am as a person. Language defines you, makes you, and brings you out as a person. Kashmiri is very much ingrained as my mother tongue.

My grandmother spoke to me about Lal Ded, who was very well known and revered by both Hindus and Muslims. Her poetry was as relevant in the 13th century as it is now. Lal Ded, also known as Lalleswari—her poetry is very special. I learned a great deal of that poetry from my grandmother, and it means a lot to me. It continues to play a role in my life. It is mystical poetry about everything in life: about God, about living, about growing up as a person. It speaks to what you are and how you are connected to nature and to God.

My grandmother and my mother—who was a teacher—were most responsible for passing down these memories, stories, and language. They were the main two who gave me deep cultural roots, and that has stayed with me my whole life.

I do not believe these traditions changed after leaving Kashmir. If anything, they became stronger. After leaving, I felt I had to cling to them and hold onto them more tightly. The language, the culture, the tradition—they all became stronger within me.

Kashmir means everything to me. It is something that gives me happiness, solace, a sense of home. If I were to die, I would want to die in Kashmir. I long for Kashmir—it is a deep-rooted connection, not just physical but mental as well.

Future generations should remember that Kashmir is a fountainhead of Indian civilization, with a history stretching back 2,000 to 3,000 years. It has a powerful history of major accomplishments: the development of grammar, religion—particularly Kashmiri Shaivism—and its role as a center of learning. Buddhist monks from around the world would come to Kashmir to learn and study. At one time, Kashmir had what was considered the best university in the world. It was among the most intellectually progressive places of its era.

Kashmir has a very strong literary tradition and many saints who have written about the nature of God and its meaning. It is a very spiritual place. Figures like Nund Reshi and Lal Ded—and even before them—so many people shaped the history and civilization of Kashmir. Some say Ayurveda originated in the region. Indian classical dances also trace their roots to Kashmir. It is a place of profound historical and cultural significance.